American Idol Auditions--San Francisco

Part of me is actually disappointed that tonight’s AI is only an hour long.

Well, we’re in San Francisco, so I expect some “interesting” auditions this evening.



I have had some constructive criticism from people that say my descriptions of contestants aren’t descriptive enough. I agree that the names may not be enough to trigger a memory.

So, I will still use names, but I will try harder to use descriptors that remind you who these people are.

First up is Puerto Rican girl with the ugly (with a capital F) dress and the hideous laugh (Tatiana Del Toro). A psychic told her that she will make it to the top 12. She bores me, and she has a hard time taking criticism. She doesn’t have a horrible voice, but I am not smitten. The judges are unsure but take her based on her “drama” and her “vibe.” I think she will make a fiery exit on the first day in Hollywood. Ah, the transparency of their motives. They created someone that America will root for… to go home quickly.

Next is modern Cro-Magnon man with weird coat (Dean-Anthony Bradford). He tires me out with his “energetic” performance. Can you say overkill? I knew you could.

Family man Jesus Valenzula sings decently. Simon tells him no, but after inviting his kids in, three out of four puts him through. He’s likeable, but is he “make it through Hollywood” likeable? Too soon to say, but I’m doubtful.

Rubik’s Cube master Dalton Powell has negative energy and a hideous voice. Nothing more to say.

Anatomy expert Akilah Askew-Gholston sings an original song then tries some Aretha. Her excuse for her poor warbling was that she “came from the wrong rectum.” My “ligenical cartilages” were all a-tingle. In a bad, bad way. I was irracitated to the max.

Quickies who make it.
Alternative-looking mop top John Twiford has a nice smooth voice (for all 10 seconds of Stevie Wonder that we hear).
Redhead Allison Iraheta’s voice cracking must have impressed the judges but not me.
Long-haired Raquel Houghten’s rendition of Dusty Springfield is too winky and surface for me, but again, the judges say yes.

Indecisive blonde Annie Murdoch eventually sings “Summertime,” and it’s all cabaret and bad.

Alternative comb over boy Adam Lambert used to be in the cast of Wicked. He sings “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and, yes, Virginia, I liked it. Nice control and great tone. I wanted to hear more, but this guy might have the image and sound to make it to the top 12. I get a good vibe here. Simon thinks he is overly theatrical, but he goes through unanimously.

Sayid look-alike (if you squint your eyes) Kai Kalama, his mother’s caregiver, sings one of my favorite songs of all time, “When Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.” I think his phrasing is odd, but he has a solid voice. Might be one to watch, but it’s too soon to say.

Only 12 go on from San Francisco, and Adam Lambert is really the only one I REALLY liked (followed by Kai Kalama). No good female vocalists in San Fran? Guess not.

Maybe it was good that San Francisco only got an hour.

Next stop: Kentucky.